Ragnar Update

So. I have some news. I am dropping out of the ragnar relay that i had planned for this summer. this is something that i was REALLY looking forward to, but as I will explain why... I think that you will begin and maybe understand my reasoning.

I guess, I should start at the beginning.  I first read/heard about this relay when I 1st started running and thought it was a cool idea and something that *with the right group* I would love to do.  I don't have a big group of running friends here in Atlanta, so I knew I couldn't start and create a group but when one of my twitter pals blogged about it, I knew that if they had a spot for me, I wanted to join the fun.  lucky for me, they did. and they had a spot for one of my favorite people & my maid of honor Erin.  So we agreed and were ready to rock and roll.  I was excited about it and I mean REALLY excited about it.  I was pumped to meet people like Jessica and Jennifer and Jen Z and Ashley and Courtney and Lauren.  We had it all set up that our van of 6 was going to be fun.  

....And then it started.  The emails about people dropping out and people being replaced.    I can't remember who was the 1st to go, but it felt like once she dropped out people were dropping like flies.  All for good reasons - school, new jobs, babies!!  But with each "drop out" my excitement started to fade. you can ask Erin.  every time an email came in, I bbm'ed her and was like uhhhh do you want to do this?!  And as people got replaced they were being replaced with randoms, people who I had never even seen on twitter or in the blogging world before.  the adventure of meeting & running with people who i had a social media relationship was slowly going away.  [no offence to any of those people, we thank you for stepping up]

And then the money came to light.  I knew that I had to fly there and get a hotel and help pay for vans and gas ... but with gas prices rising I could only imagine how much the flight would cost + the money for gas for the van + food + hotels + shirts + supplies.  And then the chatter about volunteers came up and how we were going to have to pay for them if we couldn't come up with a certain amount of them.  The total cost just kept piling up and I was having a hard time spending that much money on something I was not 100% excited about.  And I really wasn't even 25% excited .... it all just became draining and a chore.

And the icing on the cake came when I got the "invitation" to operations training June 7-9 for our newly hired recruiters.  assisting with training & helping develop and grow my company's operations team is one the of parts of my new job that i am most excited about.  I knew I wouldn't be able to leave Atlanta till like 7:00 that night and then I would have to start running miles upon miles on June 10th.

.....I just knew that this was not going to happen and I was (and am) okay with this.  Not being excited about it was not helping my training and when you run a half or a full marathon unprepared you're only hurting yourself and your performance, but with this... I had 11 other people relying on me to be ready to run 8 miles in 1 leg... and running 4 miles is hard right now.

i know i am adding more stress to jen's life and i am sorry for that -- especially since June is so close... and i know i am pulling out partially for very selfish reasons, but i just want to be excited about something especially if i am going to be spending A LOT of money on something.  i wish the 12 girls who do it the best of luck and i hope they have a really good time.  but this go round, just not for me.  ....if they ever organize another one, I am 100% in but this one.... I am just not feeling it.