5 for Friday :: 2015

The beginning of each new year for me is a time to reflect on the past year and what I want from the year ahead of me.  in the past I have set lofty goals and not accomplished most of those goals. this year I just want to end the year better – a better friend. a better career professional. a better me. brace yourself for some honestly.

{one}
I want to be a better friend.
I had a baby in 2014 and I lost sight on something that has always been important to me. My social circle. I blamed not going to happy hour on needing to get home to the baby & not going to Tuscaloosa on having a baby & not going to brunch + spin class on wanting to push the stroller on the greenway.  I stopped calling friends to just chat and see what is going on in their world because my 1 hour commute home was “me” time. A passing text message here and there was the thread holding our friendships together. I want to be better. I want to hop in the car to celebrate engagements and babies. I want to send cards of encouragement when I know my friends are struggling or just a card to say “hi friend, I miss your face”. I want to hit spin class and then brunch for a low key girls morning.  I want to be more engaged and I want my friends to know that even with a baby I am still in their corner and if they ever need me I am a phone call or a car ride away or a dinner date away.

{two}
I want more professionally.
I have a good job. I work for a great company. But I want more. I want to lead and be a leader. I want to be professionally developed. Sadly {in my opinion} I do not work for someone who has the time or the capacity to truly develop me and for me to grow and learn from. So I am taking ownership of that responsibility. I made the decision at the end of 2014 to study for and get my Certified Staffing Professional Certification.  I am reading professional business books and taking LMS classes from our LMS system to better myself. I don’t know where it will take me or where I will go or if it will even get noticed and matter. But for me, it is making me a stronger staffing professional.  All I know is that I know that I want to be a leader in Operations and should a position come available in 5 years or 15, I want my name to be tossed around as a key contender. I want to be someone that my CEO looks at for the MVP award for our President’s Club trip every year.  I want to add value and be able to see the value that I add. I don’t want to be at a glass ceiling standstill. 

{three}
I want to think more of myself & take better care of myself.
it is no secret to anyone who really knows me that I doubt myself and I don’t always have the most positive mental image of myself. it drives Kyle crazy. I once took a personality assessment and one the of the words that described me was “discontent”. And while I constantly want more and I want to be more, I need to also take a step back and realize that I am in a good place in my life. I have a great husband, an amazing little munchkin, a great family, a few good friends, 2 out of control dogs, and a nice house to come home to each day.  Greatness will come. But I need to stop being so hard on myself in so many aspects of my life. Honestly, there are times that I don’t like who I am becoming & have become. And I want nothing more than to set a good example for McKenna.

… a lot of how I think of myself is dictated by my appearance and how I look at myself in the mirror each day.  I need to start sleeping more and working out more. I need to lose the last 20 pounds of baby weight + the extra pounds I had gained pre-baby from being comfortable. This means running when I don’t want to run and working out without having to rely on my FlyWheel and Pure Barre and Blast900 – studio workouts that I cannot afford & use as a crutch and motivation to get my butt in gear. I need new clothes. Clothes that fit. Clothes that make me look confident. Clothes that will help me dress for the job I want. I need to keep eating healthy. I want to look in the mirror and not dislike what I am looking at. I hate to say it but my happiness does feed off how I perceive myself to look. And for most of 2014 {post McKenna} it wasn’t pretty. I need to save my money to use it on important things that will better myself vs. give me a quick thrill of something shiny and pretty. Again, I want to set a good example for McKenna.

{four}
I want us to be more financially secure
To clarify: we are not struggling. We make a good joint income, but somehow every month we are so close to budget that it makes us uncomfortable. maybe we are saving too much. maybe it is just our luck that every month something seems to come up that wasn’t in the budget. We have cut our allowances to practically pennies each month and other than Friday night wine nights we don’t get out just for the two of us. {which is why I value our Saturday & Sunday Greenway runs with M so much – it is free family time}. it makes me sad that our budget cripples us from being able to do things, but saving is important to us.  McKenna going to a good daycare is really important to us. I wish Kyle didn’t have to think that he needs to change jobs just too add more to our gross income when there are so many things about his job that are valuable and that I envy. I just wish 2015 will be easier.

{five}
I want to look for & find the good in every day.
I so often don’t look for the good in everyday and get so wrapped up in the bad and the annoying. I want to try and focus on the little things that make me happy. Like a phone call from a friend I haven’t talked to in months. Or a McKenna giggle. Or that my best friend ever is getting married. Or that I have a husband who will do anything to make me happy. or that my outfit matched and I was well rested. Or that I helped someone. I need to stop focusing on the annoying and the negatives and look at them as minor speed bumps.

I feel like 2015 is going to be the year of ME. Focusing on me. Growing up. Changing. And hopefully becoming a better version of me. 

What are your goals and plane and motivations for the new year.