Current Emotion: Heartbroken

I am currently in Alabama for work, which is fine. I am heading back to Atlanta today. But yesterday I got a picture from Kyle via text message and when I saw it, I got so excited and then I saw the date.

Muffins with Mom - Thursday May 7th at 2:45 PM.  It then hit me [ literally like running into a brick wall ] that I would not be able to make it. I would be out of town for my best friend's wedding that day - my very best friend from college, the girl that I love more than anyone will ever know, and the girl that always knows the right thing to say and always brightens my day. And I immediately had 2 options.  1. Skip Muffins with Mom or 2. Skip the Bridesmaid Brunch on Friday morning.  And I knew that option 2, skipping the brunch was not an option. 

 

I cried. And LAWD did I cry. I called Kyle from my hotel room after Pure Barre and I cried. Hardest cry in a long time. I turned red I cried so hard. You see - these are the things that I have been looking forward to. We had be talking about muffins with mom and donuts with dad since we did our tour and I have to miss the 1st one. And I know there will be more, but this is the first one.  This is my FIRST Mother's Day. I won't get another first Mother's Day or another first muffins with mom. And I also don't get a very special art project for my FIRST MOTHER'S DAY!

 

Of course, I am asking my parents to pull her out of school that day or at least before this event happens. I don't want to be judged as the mom who didn't show up because she couldn't make time or couldn't get away from the office when that is not the truth. I would be there with freaking bells on if I could be there. But I can't. And McKenna cannot and will not be the only kid without a mom to have muffins with and do a very special art project with.

 

Seriously, current emotion... heartbroken. And as I finish this up, I am starting to cry again. Simply because I love that monster. I love being her Mom. I was and am so excited for things like this. And I was so excited for a Mother's Day art project - a first mother's day art project - and I am missing out on that.

 

....And you better believe we're getting up on Sunday morning to haul back to Atlanta so I can get some time with my little Kenna on Mother's Day...