I have said it before, but something has to give

Running is the greatest metaphor for life because you get out of it what you put into it.

:: Oprah Winfrey ::

This time last year I had run 1 full marathon, was gearing up to run my 1st half of the year, and had run a handful of 5ks and 10ks and had 1 more full and 2 more halfs on my schedule.  I had gone through at least 1 pair of running shoes and done countless loads of running clothes laundry. This year. We're in March and I have barely gotten 12 miles in ALL YEAR.   and i want to call myself a runner. 

The quote above by Oprah could not be more truthful.  If I went out to run a 5k tomorrow, I would struggle but that is because I have not touched or nurtured my running relationship this year.  I have 100% put it on the back burner and moved work to the front.  As I have been screaming all year I am ready for a change and want to figure out how to get running back into my life.  Maybe not racing in 2011, but at least running.

I want to put my goals on paper.  I want to tell you how I hope to run at Stone Mountain every weekend starting this weekend and that I want to do Blast900 twice a month and that I want to rejoin a gym and actually use it and that I want to do runs in the neighborhood after work before it gets too dark.  (wait i did tell you)  I just know that I won't get anything out of my running and I will not be successful at Ragnar or Savannah or even the Brookhaven Bolt if I do not start moving and getting back in the groove.

Yesterday morning I started my new job.  But not the new job that I told you about on Thursday. I chose to stay with the company that I have been with since I moved to Atlanta.  They have been so great to me and have been my family and the position they countered me with on Friday fits my career goals.  Right now, I am in the branch assisting with the transition and then I move up to corporate. And with the corporate move I hope that there will be a balance where I can work and do what I love, but I can also fit in the time to go to the gym. And if that means rejoining LA Fitness because it is just up the street rather than upgrading to Lifetime then so be it...

But if there is 1 truth that needs to be presented is: something HAS to give.  Running has to work its way back into my life.  Maybe I give up sleeping in on the weekends or I give up the Lifetime marathons or I push myself out the door rather than staying late every night to finish up a project at the office. ....but something HAS to give.

work vs. running - fight to the death.

My brain is so past fried. I just tried to sign into blogger with the user name "blogger". Very wrong, that is not my user name.

It is pushing 10:00 pm and I am just now signing out of work. This is the 2nd night in a row. This happened twice last week. We are slammed at the office and lacking manpower. I am doing two jobs at once. My head spins for the 9 hours I am clocked in. There is no such thing as a break, you want lunch? You bring it or run downstairs and grab something to eat at your desk as you work. Listen: I am in no way shape or form complaining. I am so past grateful for a job and for a job I enjoy.

I work in the staffing industry. I work on the sales side. So as I bring in clients who need jobs filled it is imperative to get those jobs FILLED. If they get filled, I make more money. If they do not get filled, I do not make more money and then I have to beg for another chance. SO! I have been trying my best to fill jobs and sell and fill jobs. Everyone in my office has a head that is spinning and we're all moving 4 million miles per hour... my scheduled 3pm run is just not happening and it needs to be.

I have this crazy idea that I want to be prepared to The Marine Corps Marathon. I started off this week on a great foot. I ran my scheduled run on Monday and then life went crazy at the office. I was unable to leave early today for my weekly spin class. My 5 miler that was scheduled yesterday, yeahh about that.

I am at a total loss on what I am supposed to do. Kyle and I have it worked out that he hits the gym Monday & Friday and I get the gym Tuesday & Thursday (that is, if I can escape the office by 4:45pm). I have it on my calendar to run EVERYDAY at 3pm I just cannot seem to pull away from the computer. I have been taking the dog on long walks to keep the cardio up (as much as walking does) but unfortunately he is not quite the running pal so we run a teeny tiny bit and then go back to a walk.

I guess I am just overwhelmed. I have an 8miler scheduled for Sunday. I guess we shall see how that goes!

The gym.

I have this love hate relationship with the gym. Some days I hate it and want to cancel my membership, other days I think to myself that I have a REALLY good set up since I pay close to nothing and the gym is a great resource for rainy days. I just hate that there are things I want to do at the gym that I can't or that I have to wait for and I feel like if I am paying for something I should be able to use it.

Take spin class. The 5:30 class fills up at 4:45. I do not even get out of the office till 5 and then to get to the gym and through the doors it is like 5:15. If I want to cycle my butt off to loud pumping music, I should be able to. I know they're popular as hell but really? How can they be THAT popular.

Swimming. The pool has water aerobics most night at 5:30 so I cannot swim and them other night you're sharing a lap lane with one to two other people. Talk about a cluster of chaos. There are legs and arms flailing every where... someone is going to lose an eye. (Or is that what goggles are REALLY for?)

And please for the love of God do not get me started on treadmills and ellipticals. A wait is like a given. And then there is a 30 minute time limit. Oh great, I can barely run 3 miles... that helps my training SO much. And it goes back to the fact that I am paying to use that dreadmill and it I want to run for 60 minutes not 30 I should be able to.

Sure, yes, I do go to the gym right after work. But I know that if I go home, make dinner, get settled on that wonderful couch of mine it is a lost cause. I have to knock it out right after work or it just is not happening. I do go at the peak time, but still. It is 100% absurd. It is always going to be love hate, love hate, till I finally break and cancel. I just know it.